I like to know the plan.
I like to know what is coming up.
I like to know how to do the task at hand.
I like to know.
So, clearly I am afraid of NOT knowing…...
what is coming.
how to do something.
Well, if you remember this is my year to be grateful, kind and BRAVE. And I had been doing some brave things…co-hosting a small women's conference in Madison, trying to get a hair stylist to go completely different with my "do" (epic fail), try garlic in my home made guacamole, and wear gold jewelry. I know, I know…. I am SO gutsy. ;-) This was not exactly what I had in mind when I decided on my New Year's focus. I was dreaming bigger.
And I almost let those dreams be squashed by fear. Almost.
You see, there is this cool shop in Rockford, IL called Urban Farmgirl. I have never actually been to the shop but have heard about it, stalked it on Facebook and dreamt of having my signs sold in it one day. One day, last fall, I saw an annoucement on their FB page. The owner of the shop was hosting a juried show event on historic museum/village grounds in May and was going to be accepting applications after the new year. OH. MY. GOSH. My first instinct was "I SO want to be in this show!!!". I was excited, inspired and anxious to apply.
Anyone who knows me will understand my joy and excitement when they look at these pics of a bit of the grounds where the show will be at!
Then time.... and that terrible voice in my head called doubt.... got in the way.
When the application came out and I read it somehow I focused on the things that made me think I couldn't do it. I don't have a 10'x10' white tent with sides. I don't have weights to hold down the tent/sides. It is outdoors, what if it rains and ruins my signs? I don't sell vintage items. My art is "made to order" not cash and carry! I have never done this before. I don't have a credit-card-reader-thing for my phone…or even know what they are called!
I decided I couldn't do it. I chickened out!! Oh, for the LOVE!
I was scared. I let fear take over my decision making process.
Then a dear friend texted me one day a few weeks ago…. as she was leaving Urban Farmgirl in Rockford. She said the owner was WONDERING IF I WAS GOING TO APPLY! Holy moly folks!
Then same day a blogger/photographer/renovation-restoration junkie posted that she would be selling Tshirts to help fund adoptions for 2 families. What did the Tshirt she had designed and was selling say you ask? "DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY DREAM". What??!!
Sometimes I truly think God takes a big ole' cement brick, winds up and swings it right at my thick skull to get me to pay attention to Him. Seriously! This was ONE BIG BRICK.
I was letting my fear of NOT KNOWING rule my desire to be inspired, grow and create. I am fueled by this God-given gift of creativity. I need to be using this gift.
I need to face the fear.
I need to be brave.
I need to apply…………….. So I did. :)
And was chosen.
Dream. Come. True.
I am humbled, scared, inspired and excited.
I am confident I will "know the plan" in time for the event.
And....I am brave.
Now I have to get to work!