Last year I listened to the still, quiet Holy voice from within my soul and decided to focus on being more brave. Last January I thought I would be facing certain kind of fears like riding roller coasters, zip-lining and standing up in front of big groups of people teaching. That all sounded quite exciting....and scary. But it ended up being quite different that I had thought.
In 2014 I learned that brave has a very different meaning and one that has changed me forever. I learned that the bravest, hardest thing I can ever do is to be push past the fear and be courageous enough to be exactly who God made me to be. No matter what other people think. No matter what I think. That last one....oh for the LOVE....was the most difficult. I had to learn to get past my own negative self talk and believe that I was good enough. More than enough.
Did I perfect this during The Brave Project 2014? Nope. Not even close. I think it will take years, and years to reverse decades full of a lack of confidence. But God is doing a Holy work inside my heart and I am quite grateful for it.
So, now I have been thinking about what I should focus on for 2015. For the past month a certain line in one of my favorite worship songs has continued to strike a chord deep within my soul. In Kari Jobe's The Revelation Song she sings "filled with wonder....awestruck wonder...and the mention of Your name". That lyric hits me every time. I am moved to tears. I am inspired. I am blessed by the thought of being filled with awestruck wonder by the simple thing like mentioning a name.
To be filled with wonder sounds fantastic. But AWESTRUCK wonder? Woah. I looked up the meaning of awestruck and found several different definitions. But this one stood out to me:
To be filled with feelings of fear and wonder. Last year I worked on the fear portion. This year the focus will be the wonder....the awe. I want to experience being STRUCK by awe!! We rarely are in awe of anything these days. Our culture has taught us that doing things BIG is the norm. Expected. Common. We have lost the ability to be awestruck by the little things of life. I want to tap into my inner child and be amazed by things. Marvel at things. Be fascinated and surprised by things. Be filled with wonder...awestruck wonder.
Feel free to join me in The Awestruck Experience! It is time to turn in your jaded, mature, fatigued self who is unable to see the wonder in every day life stuff! Open your eyes, with me, and experience awestruck wonder!